Last Post?

I don't remember a lot about the last several months, aside from going through symptoms that I thought were never going to end. I dragged myself back to the GI specialist, and he said that the systems should have adjusted by then, and put me on some medication. Such proved to be the "magic bullet," but I was still very weak from the previous symptoms. If the gallbladder stuff had happened without the gastroenteritits, I would have recovered faster, and vice versa.

During this time, I learned a lot about the Prayer of Simple Regard, and the Prayer of the Will. The latter I discovered when reading about St. Vincent de Paul's writings on Mental Prayer. He taught the sick to use the "Prayer of the Will," as he called it. I found it to be similar to St. Therese's prayers during the final days of her life. Her sisters found her looking to Heaven with her hands folded in prayer. She explained that that was her prayer--loving Him.

I have had to chill in more than one way. I could not watch TV or read the news. Sensory Integration Dysfunction overload had to be quelled. Absolute silence both within and without. I asked God if there was anything we were missing/overlooking, and my attention was drawn to the master bathroom lineoleum. Once the old stuff was removed, I felt a lot better.

In June, God showed me what He wants me to do after He takes hubby, and it does not include marriage. Hubby then left the church in July, disenchanted by the sex abuse scandals, among other things. When the boys returned to school in late August, the germs were already flying. On the fourth day of school, one was home sick. After what I've been through, I'm a sitting duck where immunity issues are concerned. I have been praying fervently for my guys not to bring anything home to me. In our family history, February and March have been the worst months for it. Germs picked up during Christmas holidays will have had time to incubate.

September brought my Aspie son's 18th birthday, and we have guardianship issues to take care of. October, I was busy putting together a 10 page report for my local bishop on the activities of Cloister Outreach this past year. November I turned 47 and we had a blessed Thanksgiving with relatives. We should always support in prayer those who are experiencing the holidays without their loved ones, for whatever reason they might be absent.

I was also stunned to learn of the death of one of our beloved high school coaches in my hometown. He was not only a pillar of the community, but a deacon of the church in which I grew up. He had been my Sunday School teacher one year, and always referred to Jesus as "God." He was a man of tremendous faith and compassion, and could not believe that God had blessed him with twins the first time he and his wife were expecting.

I am seriously considering giving up blogging. Experience has proven it is not healthy--at least not for me. I started it for the sake of those praciticing lay eremitism. I admit that while I have lived a reclusive life for religious reasons (and my bishop knows about this), my experiences probably have not been all that helpful to anyone. Some readers seem to think I am in need of an "in your face" style of novitiate for some reason. I am not a religious, I am a lay person, and insist on being respected as such. I have no qualms about contacting someone's ISP if they persist in their harrassment. I have an amicable relationship with my local chancery.

The Cloisterites are going to eventually take over Cloister Outreach's webpresence, to include the blogs. If I see that my energies are useful on the blogisphere, I may return. As of right now, I don't have the energy.

Y'all have a blessed 2011,
Gemma